As Black Friday officially ends so do the hectic lines, the packed aisles, and the mobs of people. If you want to experience the events and the rush of Black Friday, all you have to do is go to Costco on a Saturday. I LOVE Costco. I love everything about it.

Not to brag, but I have my own Costco card. The fact that I have a Costco membership is the only cool and redeeming fact about me. I like to think that having a Costco membership is the closest a white person can get to being in a gang. It’s like being in a fraternity post-college. It is a country club for the middle class. You can call it Disneyland for grown-ups, an amusement park for the elderly. It truly is a mecca for white people.

However, Costco trips aren’t for the mentally weak. You realize this right from the jump, as you pull in. The Costco parking lot is a battlefield, an absolute lawless place. Right, when you walk in you flash your card to the friendly worker like you are VIP at a club. You look around and take it all in, so many things to buy, so many deals. For $5 you can get your significant two flowers from a florist or you can get her an entire rotisserie chicken, the choice is yours. What separates Costco from every other store is that you can get an entire meal for free just by walking around. An idea I have that I think would make a ton of money is an app that tells you what the samples are on a given day. Not all heroes wear capes

While the samples are pretty great it’s the food court, however, that should be getting the most love. $1.50 for a large hot dog and a soda, incredible. The pizza can go toe to toe with any, delicious. The chicken bake is God’s gift from heaven. I can go on and on about Costco’s food court.

The last thing I will touch on is Costco’s hand in the alcoholic beverage game. The prices on alcohol at this place are unbeatable. Do you want to get 1.75 liters of vodka so you can end up puking in the bathroom crying over your ex? Boom, for $12.99 you can make that a Saturday night reality. The liquor and wine section of Costco is seriously slept on. I saw a Buzzfeed article titled “13 Mind-Facts About Buying Wine and Liquor at Costco” and while I didn’t click on the article, the first fact was the thumbnail of the article and it was that Costco is the nation’s largest wine retailer. That’s a fact I’m sure they aren’t complaining about!! THIS IS A FANTASTIC JOKE I’M ENDING THE POST HERE

Costco is where you can sample spaghetti, buy a couch, and plan a vacation while waiting for pictures. If you want to live the American dream, I would start here.