Hello everyone. Happiest of Fridays to you guys. I was going to write this yesterday but I forgot, so I am currently writing this during my sisters graduation from the University of Kentucky. Now, you might be asking yourself “Vinnie, how can you possibly be missing such a ceremonial event such as a college graduation by spending it on your phone?” And to that I say, I do not give a shit about Megan and her Anesthesiology degree. I am at this 3 hour event because the only ten seconds I care about are hearing my sister’s name, watch her walk across the stage and shake some old white dude’s hand. That’s it. I’m sure Lawrence studied really hard to be able to say he got his accounting degree from this prestigious university, but he can drop dead as he walks across the stage and I wouldn’t feel a thing. I do not care about 99.999% of the people here that are graduating. So please excuse me as I stare at my phone while four people who I’ll never see again cheer for their shitty son because it took him 5 years to get a degree in History. Congratulations to my sister though, very proud of her.

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My mom’s yelling at me for being on my phone. Here’s a Janet Jackson song to take you into the weekend.