Happy Friday everyone; and happy birthday to my dad! I know you’re not reading this so I just want to say thank you for forgetting to pick me up at soccer practice when I was 9! I’ll never let you live down your shitty parenting! everything.

I’m kidding, I love my dad, the man is a character and I wouldn’t be where I am without him. I’m still at soccer practice.

My entire family is going to Fogo De Chao for dinner tonight to celebrate. It’s gonna be tough for the family because if you don’t know me or my dad, the man is an absolute UNIT. We are going to be there for 5 hours minimum. It’s a bad day to be a slab of meat.

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Elite Tweets

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I Reddit So You Don’t Have To:

https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/c448el/getting_a_tan/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ios_share_flow_optimization&utm_term=control

https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/c58z1n/sometimes_i_leave_the_back_door_open_for_my_deaf/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ios_share_flow_optimization&utm_term=control_1

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Headline Grab

Alfred Hitchcock was unavailable for comment.

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People tell me that I don’t use enough country with these songs so I will oblige and leave you with one to take you into the weekend.

Have a good one guys.