Each Music Monday will be formatted as followed: an overview/ my opinion on their said career, followed by the ranking of their top 5 songs. No artist is without flaws, their worst three songs will also be judged and ripped to shreds.
As a reminder, this is not going to be a series where I list no-name songs off an artist’s shitty second album that’ll you’ll hear occasionally in an urban coffee shop. We only grade hits here. I’m not looking for songs that have the best underlying message. I’m not looking for songs that represent the artist’s struggle and triumph over something shitty that happened to them. I don’t care about any of that. We are only ranking the cream of the crop, the pinnacle of an artist’s success. Before you ask, I will not be ranking The Beatles’ songs, as I do not want to tarnish my blog with overrated garbage. If you have a problem with that, or my rankings, and want to make your criticisms known, you can email all of your concerns to VinnieWontCheckThis@gmail.com. Prior versions of this series can be found here.
So with that, let’s get started.
Jason Derulo was born in Miramar, Florida, on September 21, 1989, to Haitian parents. Am I the only one to just learn that he’s not even 30 yet? It feels like we’ve been hearing ๐๐ช๐ผ๐ธ๐ท ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐พ๐ต๐ธ as the intro to our pop songs for 50 years now. To me, Jason Derulo is one of the most underrated artists of this generation and doesn’t get enough shine as he should. Before I talk about his career, I want to lay some facts out for you uneducated souls in 10 years, he has sold 30 million records and has had ELEVEN platinum songs.
Jason Derulo came out of the gate scorching hot, releasing his debut album, Jason Derรผlo, which yielded a number one hit (Whatcha Say), a top-five hit (In My Head), and a top ten hit (Ridin’ Solo). His sophomore album, Future History couldn’t replicate the success as the first but that’s a high bar to clear. It still managed to have two songs in the top 15 (Don’t Wanna Go Home, It Girl), good but not great. One year later, in 2013 he released Tattoos to critical acclaim mixed reviews. It did however, give you a top 20ย (The Other Side),ย top 15 hit (Trumpets), a top 5 hit (Wiggle), and a top 3 hit (Talk Dirty). If you thought he was done, you’d be mistaken in 2015 he would release his fourth album in as many years when he gave us Everything is 4. This dude just doesn’t stop, this album provided us with yet another top 5 hit (Want You to Want Me), just a consistent hot machine, I’m not sure what else to say. It was at this point where Jason Derulo stopped saying his name, took a look at all the music he’s made over the past 6 years and released this music slaps, put it all on one album, and so in 2016, at the age of 26 he pulled the biggest flex you can do in music and released a greatest hits album, his fifth album in 5 years, the man works hard. His most recent album comes out later this year but that is deceiving because he began releasing singles to promote this album back in 2017.
My grandfather was a meat delivery man in Brooklyn in the 1960s, and over 30 years he single handily moved a ton (literally a metric ton a day) of cow, never missed a day for 35 years. He missed the birth of all three of his kids, never took a vacation, a sick day, nothing. I used to think he was the hardest working man I’ve ever seen, I modeled my work ethic after him. It took me reading about Jason Derulo releasing music constantly for the past decade to make me realize that I modeling my morals after the wrong man; my grandfather could never do what Jason has done.
To properly rank Jason Derulo’s songs, we are not ranking his best and worst songs, but we are breaking up the list into two categories: songs that he says his name, and songs that he doesn’t.
Ranking the Songs That He Says ๐๐ช๐ผ๐ธ๐ท ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐พ๐ต๐ธ:
4. In My Head:ย ๐๐ช๐ผ๐ธ๐ท ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐พ๐ต๐ธ ranking: 8.5/10.
This is a really strong intro to a great song. This song has one of the best ๐๐ช๐ผ๐ธ๐ท ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐พ๐ต๐ธ’s around. The song had massive pressure to follow up the next song on this ranking and if you ask me it did its job. It still holds up to this day: A forgotten bop really, one of Jason’s more underrated songs.
3. Whatcha Say: ๐๐ช๐ผ๐ธ๐ท ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐พ๐ต๐ธ ranking: 7.1/10:
This song put Jason on the map. It also serves as one of the worst and lamest excuses for cheating around. I had no business bumping this song as hard as I did when it came out when I was like I was 15. Who hurt me?
2. Don’t Wanna Go Home: ๐๐ช๐ผ๐ธ๐ท ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐พ๐ต๐ธ ranking: 9.3/10:
This is one of my favorite Jason Derulo songs period. If I was doing a real ranking for him this would for sure make the top 5. Whatcha Say shows how good Jason is at sampling, this song reaffirms it with the use of Banana Boat (Day-O) by Harry Belafonte.
1. Talk Dirty (ft. 2 Chainz): ๐๐ช๐ผ๐ธ๐ท ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐พ๐ต๐ธ ranking: 6.3/10:
This song has the most different use of the ๐๐ช๐ผ๐ธ๐ท ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐พ๐ต๐ธ out there because he’s not the one saying his name. Outside of that, this song is very well put together, beautiful use of the saxophone. The 2 Chainz feature takes this song from good to great. Who can forget the “sold out arenas you can suck my penis” line, iconic.
A Ranking of the Songs Where He Doesn’t Say His Full Name So I’m Not Sure if it’s Truly a Jason Derulo Song:
5. Get Ugly:
This song is another great use of a sample by the hit master. This song shows off Jason’s ability to make club bangers while also being able to flex the pipes.
4. The Other Side:
A guilty pleasure bop. Not much to say about it other than I enjoy it very much.
3. Wiggle (ft. Snoop Dogg):
How much can I pay Jason Derulo to remake this music video in his full CATS costume? I would legit empty my bank account to make it happen.
2. Swalla (ft. Nicki Minaj & Ty Dolla $ign):
This song was so close to being in the ๐๐ช๐ผ๐ธ๐ท ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐พ๐ต๐ธ ranking list when he slipped the “๐๐ฎ๐ป๐พ๐ต๐ธ” at the end. However, I cannot in good faith grade it based on only the last name, I need the full name or nothing at all. I’ve long said if you put Nicki on a feature, it’s a guarantee to become a hit, and this is no different. Strong bop.
1. Want to Want Me:
This song was also on the ๐๐ช๐ผ๐ธ๐ท ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐พ๐ต๐ธ ranking list, but again, he only says his last name. I can’t destroy the integrity of the ๐๐ช๐ผ๐ธ๐ท ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐พ๐ต๐ธ ranking with half ass jobs here. In terms of the song itself, it’s awesome, for sure a top two Derulo song, maybe number one depending on my mood. He did a duet of this song with Luke Bryan and it was dope. Song is a tune, simple as that.
At the end of the day, if this list did anything for you, I just hope you realize that Jason Derulo has hits that hold up against anyone this decade. A greatest hits album by 26 does not happen unless you are a grinder. Jason is a grinder, constantly putting out hits year after year. I hope he gets the appreciation he deserves.
Your Turn
If you had a blog and were to rank every Kelly Clarkson song that hit top 20 on the charts, what are your top 5?
| Title | Year | Peak chart positions | Album |
| Whatcha Say | 2009 | 1 | Jason Derulo |
| In My Head | 2009 | 5 | Jason Derulo |
| Ridin’ Solo | 2010 | 9 | Jason Derulo |
| Don’t Wanna Go Home | 2011 | 14 | Future History |
| It Girl | 2011 | 17 | Future History |
| The Other Side | 2013 | 18 | Tattoos |
| Talk Dirty (ft. 2 Chainz) | 2013 | 3 | Tattoos |
| Trumpets | 2013 | 14 | Tattoos |
| Wiggle (ft. Snoop Dogg) | 2014 | 5 | Tattoos |
| Want to Want Me | 2015 | 5 | Everything is 4 |
| Swalla (ft. Nicki Minaj & Ty Dolla Sign) | 2017 | 20 | N/A |
Vin'sane Thoughts 