Each Music Monday will be formatted as followed: an overview/ my opinion on their said career, followed by the ranking of their top 5 songs. No artist is without flaws, their worst three songs will also be judged and ripped to shreds.
As a reminder, this is not going to be a series where I list no-name songs off an artist’s shitty second album that’ll you’ll hear occasionally in an urban coffee shop. We only grade hits here. I’m not looking for songs that have the best underlying message. I’m not looking for songs that represent the artist’s struggle and triumph over something shitty that happened to them. I don’t care about any of that. We are only ranking the cream of the crop, the pinnacle of an artist’s success. Before you ask, I will not be ranking The Beatles’ songs, as I do not want to tarnish my blog with overrated garbage. If you have a problem with that, or my rankings, and want to make your criticisms known, you can email all of your concerns to VinnieWontCheckThis@gmail.com. Prior versions of this series can be found here.
Spoiler alert. I was at a wedding this weekend which serves as the inspiration for this special edition of Music Monday.
So with that, let’s get started
A wedding is a ceremony where two people are united in marriage. Wedding traditions and customs vary greatly between cultures, ethnic groups, religions, countries, and social classes. Most wedding ceremonies involve an exchange of marriage vows by the couple, presentation of a gift (offering, rings, symbolic item, flowers, money, dress), and a public proclamation of marriage by an authority figure or celebrant. Special wedding garments are often worn, and the ceremony is sometimes followed by a wedding reception. Music, poetry, prayers or readings from religious texts or literature are also commonly incorporated into the ceremony, as well as superstitious customs originating in Ancient Rome.
So with that out of the way, I’m going to be ranking the most popular songs that get white people dancing at weddings, as well as just regular songs you’ll hear at every wedding.
Songs that get the folks dancing.
5. Single Ladies- Beyonce: When the DJ plays this song all the females run like a herd of buffalo to the dance floor to do the famous dance with their girls. I almost put Crank That Soulja Boy in this spot but I feel like we are a good 10 years away from that being a wedding mainstay. The olds don’t like it, so it doesn’t get as much play at weddings as it should.
4. YMCA- The Village People: You can power a small village with the energy that people have when the YMCA comes on. Everyone pretends to be sick of it since it is played at every sporting event, block party, etc. but it doesn’t stop them doing the dance. I think it’s so popular because it’s the only dance you can do from your seat so it takes next to no effort.
3. Wobble- V.I.C: The wobble is one of those songs that I always have to “dust off,” meaning I usually have to watch someone do it once before it all comes back to me. I like to think of this song, as well as number one and number two on the list as the “Devil’s Triangle” which is a formula that all wedding DJ’s follow to ensure they get people on the dance floor, and keep them there.
2. Cha Cha Slide- DJ Casper: Personally, I become a professional dance when it’s time to get funky. I always cleverly position myself in the bottom right corner of the dance floor this way I can be at the front of the line and ‘lead’ the dance for half of the time when we turn it out. FIVE HOPS THIS TIME.
1. Cupid Shuffle- Cupid: People that say white people have no culture clearly haven’t been to a wedding that has this all time dance track play. It’s not a wedding until this plays, you can have your feelings about it, but you can’t deny that.
Now the best songs you’ll hear at every wedding.
5. This is How We Do It- Montell Jordan: This five spot was tough. I wanted to put Yeah! or Uptown Funk, before ultimately deciding on this classic. The olds and the young’s like it, all around a safe song to play.
4. I Wanna Dance With Somebody- Whitney Houston: There should be a name for the “little groove walk” people do when they start to make their way to the dance floor when this song starts to play at weddings.
3. September by Earth Wind & Fire: If it were up to me, this song would be number 1. Well it is up to me, but I’m not going to let bias get in the way of this list specifically. September by Earth Wind & Fire is my favorite song of all time, but when it comes to playing at weddings, it’s still very good, but I can’t put it number one. Very big of me to admit.
2. Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond: This is usually the closer. You’re up 1 with the bases loaded and you need an out. Sweet Caroline is that, it gets the people to leave the venue happy. This is a rare song that everyone sings, but nobody quite knows how to dance to, usually it involves a lot of swaying but there are people that try (and fail) to cut a rug when this comes on.
1. Come on Eileen- Dexy’s Midnight Runners: So do we think Dexy’s Midnight Runners specifically created this song to be played at weddings? Or did society invent weddings specifically to have an occasion to play Dexy’s Midnight Runners’s Come On Eileen?
Wedding songs are corny, but that’s what makes them fun. Weddings are one of those places where you just have a good time with people you care about and celebrate the love of a friend or family member, so it’s okay to be foolish.
Vin'sane Thoughts 