Each Music Monday will be formatted as followed: an overview/ my opinion on their said career, followed by the ranking of their top 5 songs. No artist is without flaws, their worst three songs will also be judged and ripped to shreds.
As a reminder, this is not going to be a series where I list no-name songs off an artist’s shitty second album that’ll you’ll hear occasionally in an urban coffee shop. We only grade hits here. I’m not looking for songs that have the best underlying message. I’m not looking for songs that represent the artist’s struggle and triumph over something shitty that happened to them. I don’t care about any of that. We are only ranking the cream of the crop, the pinnacle of an artist’s success. Before you ask, I will not be ranking Thee Beatles’ songs, as I do not want to tarnish my blog with overrated garbage. If you have a problem with that, or my rankings, and want to make your criticisms known, you can email all of your concerns to VinnieWontCheckThis@gmail.com. Prior versions of this series can be found here.
Just a heads up. There will be no Music Monday next week. This means we’re bringing the heat this week. So with that, let’s get started.
Nickelback was born in 1995 in Hanna, Alberta, Canada (I have no idea how they name cities in Canada but while that is right, it looks so wrong). Before they were the Nickelback we all know and shamefully hate love, they were a Led Zeppelin cover band called Village Idiot. The band later changed its name to Nickelback, which originated from the nickel in change that band member Mike Kroeger gave customers at his job at Starbucks; he would frequently say, “Here’s your nickel back.” And yes that is as lame of a story you can tell when you’re naming a band, but whatever, a year later they released their first album without a label, Curb. While it didn’t produce any hits, it got them a record deal. Just before the turn of the millennium they released their second album, The State, which, again didn’t produce any big hits, but it did get them attention in the United States. This got the attention of some American producers who began working on their third album, Silver Side Up, which was released on September 11, 2001, but they are Canadian so they get a pass. The album was backed by the mega track, How You Remind Me, which hit number 1 on the charts. The other singles were fine, peaking number one on the rock charts, but not very high on the Hot 100 (Never Again, Too Bad). In 2003, Nickelback released The Long Road. The album was certified 3x Platinum by the RIAA in March 2005. It spawned a top 10 hit (Someday). Once again they had other songs hit the top 10 on the rock charts, but not much movement on the Hot 100. Just after New Year’s Day 2005, they got a new drummer. Nickelback promptly went into the studio with their new drummer from January through May 2005. The sessions resulted in their fifth studio album, All the Right Reasons which was released in late 2005. This is the part where I say this. Everyone pretends to hate Nickelback because these shills on the internet told you to. Here’s a fact I love to share All the Right Reasons was certified diamond by the RIAA in March 2017, making it one of the best-selling albums of all time in the US. Does that sound like “the worst band of all time?” 9,000,000 ringtones were sold off of songs of this album for crying out loud. I will never understand how people can sit here and try to lie and convince themselves that this band is bad. If you are one of those people, I feel bad for you, you’re not opening your mind and can’t formulate an opinion on your own. Congrats. Back to the album, it is one of the most successful rock albums of the past 30 years. It spawned a top two hit (Photograph), two top 10 hits (Far Away, Rockstar), and two 20 hits (Savin’ Me, If Everyone Cared). The “worst band of all time” then embarked on a tour for this album. Demand was so high for this tour they had to extend it an additional YEAR. I cannot believe how bad they are that over 3,000,000 attended one of the shows on this tour. Fickle. Dark Horse was released in 2008 and produced a top 10 hit (Gotta Be Somebody), as well as a top 20 hit (If Today Was Your Last Day). Of the 11 songs on the album, they released 8 of those songs as singles, which is the equivalent to giving yourself all 10s on self performance valuations. Seriously, whenever you get the “there are hot singles in your area” ads on your computer they are just all the songs off this album. Here and Now came a couple years later in 2011. Didn’t have any hits but had some solid songs on there. No Fixed Address is their most recent album, and once again they pulled the utter nonsense of releasing 8 of the 11 songs as singles. They say they have another album coming soon, so we’ll see what’s up with that when we get it.
When I first decided to this ranking I thought I was going to have to bend the rules I have based on what I classify as a hit just due to the fact that rock songs don’t normally chart well, however, upon further review I can roll with my list with the exception of one or two songs. So let’s get to it.
Toughest Omission: Burn it to the Ground: Remember when I said there were one or two songs that didn’t chart well enough to make the list. (I would hope so, it’s legit the sentence before this one). Well, the one that was omitted was this one. I love this song. If it was eligible aka if I didn’t hold me rankings to such a high standard, it would easily be slotted in the number 3 spot. The other song that I wanted to include but couldn’t was Animals.
5. Someday: Someone, somewhere, SOMEDAY is going to admit they like Nickelback. They didn’t sell millions of albums to themselves. This song is good, that’s why it’s on my list but I’m going to say Nickelback is good any chance I get.
4. Gotta Be Somebody: I gave this song the edge over Far Away because it’s different than the typical Nickelback song. Both are good but this one is catchier. Nothing wrong with enjoyable tune.
3. Savin’ Me: How can you possibly slander this band when they give you a hit like this? If you stripped away the negative stigma of the band and just listened to this song you’d think it was a certified banger. Hell even with the reputation of Nickelback it still hit 17 on the charts.
2. How You Remind Me: No one will ever convince me that this isn’t an absolute knee-slapping banger. Here’s a fun fact, it was the most played song on the radio during the 2000s decade.
1. Rockstar: They don’t make songs like this classic anymore and that’s a real shame. From talking about having quesadillas to promoting eating disorders so you stay skinny, this song has everything and I love every second of it.
Worst Nickelback songs
999-1: tHeYrE aLl BaD. NiCkElBaCk StInKs.
Your Turn
If you had a blog and were to rank every Nickelback song that hit top 20 on the charts, what are your top 5?
| Title | Year | Peak chart positions | Album |
| How You Remind Me | 2001 | 1 | Silver Side Up |
| Someday | 2003 | 7 | The Long Road |
| Photograph | 2005 | 2 | All the Right Reasons |
| Far Away | 2006 | 8 | All the Right Reasons |
| Savin’ Me | 2006 | 19 | All the Right Reasons |
| Rockstar | 2006 | 6 | All the Right Reasons |
| If Everyone Cared | 2006 | 17 | All the Right Reasons |
| Gotta Be Somebody | 2008 | 10 | Dark Horse |
| If Today Was Your Last Day | 2008 | 19 | Dark Horse |
Vin'sane Thoughts 