I May or May Not Have Ranked All the 50 State’s Commemorative Quarter Designs
I am, without a doubt, a huge fan of rankings. I’m not sure when this obsession started, but it has to rank near the top in terms of things I love doing. From a young age there was something that always captivated me to put a ranking on anything- it could be something as common as ranking the best Star Wars movies, it could be as uncommon as the letters in the alphabet, hell it could even be a ranking of different types of peas within a blog about ranking the best Black Eyed Peas songs– the point is that I take the ranking-life seriously. There is something about categorizing things in a easy to read numerical format that makes it my passion. So when I was at my parent’s house and stumbled upon the old map I used to store my completed 50 State Quarter Collection (It’s okay to feel impressed with the fact that I have compiled the complete collection), my first thought was not, “Sweet, I found $12.50. That could get me a solid burger with fries AND a drink.” But instead my mind started racing about which states had the best and worst designs, I knew what I had to do next.
That paragraph was just a long winded way of telling you what the title of this blog did, so without wasting anymore of your time or attention span, here is the ranking of all the designs on the back of quarters.
50. Michigan
Michigan? More like Mich-NotAFan. The Great Lakes State? More like the Bad Quarter Design State. (I will be calling Michigan this from Huron out) They didn’t even try to get creative with this, they just put the outline of the state and the corresponding bodies of water. Talk about mailing it in. This coin shouldn’t even be worth the full $0.25 with how putrid this quarter is.
49. Pennsylvania
Just a pathetic performance all around from Pennsylvania. They have so many cool things they could have used but despite that, they completely shit the bed. The LEAST they could have done is have Rocky hold the scepter with both arms above his head. If our ancestors put the same effort in that the people who designed this quarter did, we’d be spelling color with a ‘u’ right now.
48. Florida
Does anyone know what Florida was going for here? They couldn’t comMINT to one design? They might as well have put a picture of the Challenger exploding mid-flight, at least that would have been less of a wreck than this.
47. Idaho
This quarter is just frightening. I have no idea what Esto Perpetua means but I can only assume it translates to ‘Our Quarter Stinks’
46.Louisiana
This quarter design is also a huge PU. I have no clue what the jamoke who designed this quarter was trying to do but if his goal was to make the Hurricane Katrina of quarter designs he accomplished it.
45. Alabama
Really glad Alabama decided to honor Helen Keller by making a quarter so bad that it makes me wish I was blind for having to look at it.
44.Maryland
If my spouse was in charge of commencing a quarter design that captures the true spirit and embodiment of our state and then proceeds to make this piece of garbage, I’ll pack their bags because they will be moving to Divorceland
43. New Hampshire
In terms of State Slogans, this has to be near the top, however the old man carved in stone kinda gives me the creeps. If they removed the Alzheimer’s Rock and just had the text “Live Free or Die” this is without a doubt a top 3 quarter
42. Kansas
Add an ‘s’ to the end of Kansas and you’ll know my exact thoughts on this coin.
41. Iowa
If Iowa is our nation’s Foundation in Education, it makes so much more sense on why China is absolutely steamrolling us in academics. The only thing kids learn when they go to Iowa is how drink vodka & tequila in the same night and not throw up.
40. New Mexico
New Mexic-oh brother, this quarter stinks
39. Wyoming
‘Below Average State’ is a much more accurate nickname
38. Massachusetts
It’s a good thing they put the Minuteman on here, otherwise I’d have no idea the amount of time Massachusetts put into designing their quarter.
37. New York
With as entitled as people who live in NYC are, you would think that the back of New York’s quarter would just be the Manhattan Skyline. That would have been way better than what we got. (For the record, if they did go ahead with the NYC skyline design, it would have been outdated a couple months later. Wild to think about)
36. Ohio
Never change, Ohio. Nothing like commemorating the people who think Ohio is so bad that they would rather LEAVE THE PLANET than live another day in your poor excuse for a state. Same thing goes for the Wright Brothers, they wanted a faster way to leave this toxic wasteland so they went out and invented the airplane. (However, I must ad-MINT, I actually enjoy the astronaut and plane designs very much, there is just too much Ohio in the coin itself for my liking)
35. Delaware
The first state to have their quarter design released and they couldn’t set the bar any lower. This quarter is to blame for all the dogshit designs we got from other states because some state’s saw Delaware’s and thought ‘oh the designs are supposed to be boring.” Lead by example one time for me, Delaware
34.Georgia
Georgia’s side of quarter
George-a’s side of the quarter
33. Vermont
Vermont checks in at Tree-Tree on the list
32. Oklahoma
I am indifferent about this coin. It isn’t bad, it isn’t good, it is just OK
31. South Dakota
What’s better than one dead president on our currency? 5 of them!
30.South Carolina
This quarter did a lot of things right but still somehow missed the mark. If they would have focused on the Palmetto more, and less on the stupid bird I think we could have had something good here.
29. Indiana
I have a coin-fession to make: I hate Indiana with a burning passion. It offers nothing of substance to the rest of the United States. However, putting a racecar was a great move because unlike the rest of the state, racecars are cool. It is the only non-shitty part of an otherwise awful state
28. Utah
Wow, a giant dick getting smashed by two trains, is this a metaphor for polygamy? This coin makes no cents
27. Connecticut
This quarter is just oak-y, it’s not a bad quarter and the design of the tree is nice. Sometimes you need to just play the hand you’re dealt and make the most of it, what else could Connecticut have put instead?
26. Hawaii
I have never been as disappointed in a quarter as I am in Hawaii’s. It upsets me that a state that has so much to offer, from their volcanoes to their flowers, settles for something this boring. The least they could have done is have this man on the coin wearing a Hawaiian shirt. Like, c’mon, throw me a bone here. I put this at number 26 because, while it’s not the worst quarter on the list, I refuse to give them the satisfaction of having a top-half quarter, knowing they left a TON of meat on the bone. What a waste of potential.
25. North Carolina
I Raleigh think North Carolina could have done better with their quarter but this is still fine. Including the cute little foot stool was a nice touch Just seems to me that they played it safe.
24. Texas
Texas played the hits. “We are the Lone Star State, here is our state, here is a lone star.” Normally I would penalize this quarter for such minimal effort and I know I am coin-tradicting myself here, but somehow this quarter design works. As much as I want to make a Dall-ass or Hous-ton of garbage joke about this coin, the design, despite being very simple is CLEAN.
23. Wisconsin
No quarter embodies their state as much as the Wisconsin quarter does. Putting a cow on your quarter is legen-dairy, it is udder-ly fantastic. (Sorry, but it was only appropriate that I put a cheesy and a corny joke here)
22. Rhode Island
They did the RIght thing with this quarter. Rhode Island is very liMINTed with what they could put on their design but the execution is there, put a Rhode and some water and move on.
21. Illinois
I want it on the record that I think it’s absolutely insane that Illinois is known as the ‘Land of Lincoln’ even though he’s from Kentucky, that’s why growing up I’ve always called Illinois the ‘Land of Linc-VIN’ since I’m actually from here. That being said, they did a beautiful job with the state outline being in front of the Chicago skyline, absolutely beautiful.
20. Tennessee
This quarter coin-sists of the only thing that Tennessee is known for and executed it very well. You have a fiddle because Nashville is know for its country music, and a trumpet as well as a guitar due to Memphis being the birthplace of both Elvis and Blues music.
19. Kentucky
This is an outstanding quarter. Building it around a STABLE animal such as the horse was a great call. Showing the Bluegrass was another great one. They would have gotten bonus points if they added a chicken to this coin.
18. North Dakota
I really enjoy what North Dakota did here. Just a nice background, some sun and some ‘son. I would totally carry this quarter around to bison stuff with it.
17. Nebraska
I’m a sucker for a good open field and a sun in the background. Does anyone remember reaching this landmark during the Oregon Trail game? Had to deal with half my family dying of dysentery before I even got to Chimney Rock, I was so bad at that game.
16. Colorado
This is a good quarter but Colorado could have made it a GREAT quarter. Boulder seems like it rocks but all we got was some trees and mountain. I just wanted more.
15. California
California had a lot they could have done with their quarter, no mention of LA, San Francisco, or the state’s hall of fame Flag. Instead we got this man who I can only assume is an influencer looking at a rock. Can’t wait for this guy to try and sell me chia seeds on Instagram.
14. Arkansas
I can’t explain why I like this quarter but for some reason I really do. I also don’t understand why there is a diamond smack dab in the middle of it, is it supposed to represent Little Rock?
13. Minnesota
Don’t get me wrong, I like this quarter a lot, however I would have LOVED it if they just put a picture of Prince. It would have been easily number one on this list. If they did this though, they would have had to release this coin in 1999 instead of 2005.
12. Oregon
This is the exact same quarter as Minnesota, however it gets the nod due to the fact that Crater Lake is literally a lake inside of a volcano.
11. Maine
This quarter does a great job at showing the Maine parts of the state. Everything you see here, minus maybe a fish or two, is the extent of my knowledge about the state of Maine.
10.Mississippi
Where Mississippi completely missed the mark on their flag making skills, they almost made up for in their state quarter game. This design is beautiful
9. West Virginia
The quarter is nice and all but the real reason it is here is because I formatted this coin to be west of Virginia’s. I’m not even sure if this will work if you’re reading this mobily but trust me this joke is hilarious if it works.
8. Virginia
This quarter would have been more historically accurate if the picture showed the pillaging and murder of all the Native Americans
7.Washington
If Washington had any sense of humor they would have just flipped the ‘heads’, image on the quarter so it mirrors the front (A George side and a Washington Side) but this design will suffice, I guess.
6. Montana
This is the most badass quarter of the 50 and it’s not even close. It’s simple yet effective- you’ve got some land, ‘Big Sky Country’ written across it, and a giant Bison skull front and center. Montana: Land of Sky and DEATH
5. Missouri
This quarter almost makes me forget how Missour-able it would be to live here. Almost.
4.New Jersey
New Jersey as a state gets a lot of hate, and rightfully so- what a dump of a state. With all that is wrong with New Jersey, however, the design they put on their state quarter wasn’t one of them. In this case, going with the iconic image paid off for them.
3.Nevada
Nevada has a very strong quarter, one of the best if we’re being honest. The only gripe I have is wishing they would showcase some of Las Vegas in it- throw some (legal) prostitutes playing roulette or slot machines in the background or something, it would have made this quarter an easy number one.
2.Alaska
Man, this is a good looking coin. Alaska did not have to go as hard as they did when they decided to make this. This mint is so good you could brush your teeth with it. It doesn’t get much better than this
1.Arizona
Look, I consider myself a coin-asseur, I know a good quarter design when I see it, and Arizona’s takes the cake. The Grand Canyon State designed a gorge-ous quarter. This is what a lot of these other states should have done.
So there you have it, the definitive ranking of all 50 state quarters designs. Did I do this to flex at the fact that I have the complete 50 State Quarter Collection? Definitely. Is it the only redeemable quality I have? You know it!
Vin'sane Thoughts 